November 19th is International Survivors of Suicide Day.  Not exactly a joyous event, but necessary.  (To be clear, it is for those left behind when a loved one has killed him/herself.)

One cannot possibly imagine the loneliness of  being a survivor (unless you are one).  It is a death which few if any are willing to speak about.  The person you love is not mentioned or remembered openly by those around you.  For me, there was life before and life after and the two lives will always be separated by the one act.  Beyond the pain of any unexpected sudden death there is the guilt.  And all the well meaning words cannot erase the fact that deep down, you know, there is a chance you could have done something.

I truly believe that if my brother had known the pain he would cause us he would never have done it.

So if you know someone who lost a loved one to suicide, do them a favor and ask them how they are doing. Talk about their loved one. Let’s erase the stigma of suicide that so prevents those who are thinking about killing themselves from even seeking help.


4 Responses to “Suicide”

  1. I think of Bjorn often, he had a lovely smile and was a kind a gentle man.

  2. Kirsten, Thanks for sharing. I feel touched by your description of your pain and loss. I liked Bjorn a lot and his gentle winning manners and am sorry he isn’t around anymore. This reminds me to keep the important things in life in perspective.

  3. Thank you for sharing such a close thing for you, and you’re doing it in a fine and open way.

    I’ve lost two brothers over the years (none in this kind of circumstance) but I know what it’s like to loose someone near so I hope that you found your way forward, even though it’s hard, and you might even wan’t to see the lights when things like happen.

    Once again, a great post that really touched me and I guess so many others. I think you bring light to all the others that will share your experience.

    • Thank you,and sorry that you have also had to lose brothers – it’s not easy to lose people close to us, no matter what the cause. Take care of yourself and thanks for your kind words.

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